i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
