SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize