My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
bring money and cleavage
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize