Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
