please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize