2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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