but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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