just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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