My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
