My first STD was from a foam party
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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