just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
