who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
