is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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