I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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