just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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