her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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