Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
