a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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