ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
