well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
