And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
