Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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