Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize