she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
nutella sex= disaster
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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