these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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