Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
