Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
