If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
