playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
