Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
