I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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