By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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