If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
