My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
