Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Randomize
