Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
