I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question