Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.

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  (919): I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/250u
  Replies (24) Good night (2934) Bad night (786)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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  (780): i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least. http://tfl.nu/btfu
  Replies (29) Good night (924) Bad night (2500)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.

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  (678): Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed. http://tfl.nu/4nvh
  Replies (12) Good night (681) Bad night (4543)
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  (408): View more from California

  I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate

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  (408): I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate http://tfl.nu/wgyo
  Replies (15) Good night (2004) Bad night (3476)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.

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  (513): He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/a93z
  Replies (13) Good night (4708) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.

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  (814): We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation. http://tfl.nu/gj2w
  Replies (17) Good night (4290) Bad night (1268)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown

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  (330): It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown http://tfl.nu/l6kf
  Replies (14) Good night (3291) Bad night (2081)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now

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  (386): Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now http://tfl.nu/ahzl
  Replies (1) Good night (1456) Bad night (1310)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I want a burrito.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Truly, you are the voice of a generation.

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  (541): I want a burrito. (1-541): Truly, you are the voice of a generation. http://tfl.nu/xqng
  Replies (9) Good night (2781) Bad night (729)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He was uncircumcised

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis

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  (480): He was uncircumcised (480): It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis http://tfl.nu/js6u
  Replies (15) Good night (1261) Bad night (1538)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.

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  (970): I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk. http://tfl.nu/5c91
  Replies (11) Good night (1290) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.

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  (979): It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people. http://tfl.nu/1jp1
  Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (655)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.

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  (613): hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday. http://tfl.nu/nmap
  Replies (2) Good night (1120) Bad night (508)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .

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  (956): Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . . http://tfl.nu/ha2v
  Replies (11) Good night (650) Bad night (1526)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.

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  (860): he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE. http://tfl.nu/wid5
  Replies (5) Good night (1074) Bad night (425)

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