You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize