weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i came on her dog
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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