I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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