As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
