Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
