playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
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Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
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I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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