I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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