Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
