For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
ttyl tear gas
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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