Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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