So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
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