you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
