I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
