Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
