and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
