we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
