Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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