why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
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SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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