The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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