He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
