I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
