College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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